Drug Testing

In the past six months I have been required to take two drug tests.  The first one was for tennis.  I happened to be one of the lucky ones, you know, in the random selection.  At 6:30 in the morning I headed to the athletic building where I was assigned a number and a cup.  Failing the drug test would have NO consequences because the purpose of "said" test was merely to get data on the pervasiveness of recreational drugs in DIII athletes.  I'm glad I was inconvenienced for the sake of a study.  While failing the test would mean nothing, the powers that be still decided to treat us like convicted felons.  Before entering the bathroom stall I had to lift up my shirt--in case I was carrying a clean pack of pee around my stomach.  Even after revealing that the only thing under my shirt is my stomach, this lady followed me into the stall and watched me as I peed into the cup.  Okay, she wasn't a pervert, but it was awkward (to say the least).  After finishing my business I was required to hold onto my pee cup and watch as this lady tested the pH.  If I recall correctly, I believe my pee had a pH of 6.5.  Finally, I was allowed to relinquish custody of my pee and send it off to the lab.

Today, I was required to endure my second drug test.  This test was work related, as in, I won't get hired unless I pass the drug test.  I am not worried about passing the test.  I am just annoyed that it has become commonplace for a drug test to be a prerequisite for employment.  Even though the consequences of this drug test are much higher than the tennis one, the lady at LabCorp didn't seem to notice.  I was asked to wash my hands but nobody supervised me doing so, nor was I asked to lift up my shirt.  And when I took my favorite cup to the bathroom to do my business nobody followed me.  I closed the door and hit that magical red line in private.  The lady at LabCorp could care less about the accuracy of the test.  She could care less about whether people try to cheat the test.  Who can blame her?  She oversees drug tests for a living.  That sucks.  And what about the lab geek who will have the pleasure of testing my pee in a couple of days?  Can't say I'm jealous.  

Moral of the story:  drug testing sucks and try to avoid it at all costs, unless you have to do it (like I did)