Saturday, August 22, 2009

Does anyone really write in cursive anymore?






I remember back in the 3rd grade when I first learned how to write in cursive. We had those practice sheets where we would trace over the dotted letters making beautiful S's and G's. We were told that writing in such a fashion is faster than regular print. After years of writing papers, notes, etc. I must say I disagree.

In order to write legibly in such an old school manner, it takes countless time and includes painstaking efforts. Oh and did I mention the hand cramps? Seriously, why write in cursive when you can just write in print?

Growing up in the computer age, it doesn't make much sense to write anything in fact. However, when forced to write I will always choose print over cursive. The only two words I ever write in cursive are my name and that doesn't count because it falls under the signature category.

While it would be frustrating enough to write in cursive, I find it more annoying trying to translate the chicken scratch older people send me in their foreign language of script. If you are going to write me a letter in cursive it darn well better be polished... like Declaration of Independence feather pen style, or at least do the courtesy of sending a translator along with the package. If not, then don't waste your time because I will not be able to comprehend your medieval handwriting.

Moral of the story - choose print over scribbilish cursive because that junk is way out of style.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Friendship bracelets




People are never too old to wear friendship bracelets. At least I'm not. I wear my bracelets/anklets proudly. I've never been a crafty person. I don't crochet, make wind charms, or capture scenic images on canvas. I do however make bracelets, anklets, and lanyards. Even as an adult, well young adult, I admit they are awesome.

I first got into the bracelet making scene as a pre-teen. Made my mom buy all the string along with a book of instructions and I got to work. However, as time went by I lost touch with the age old art of friendship bracelets. Thankfully Mr. Presnal, my junior year chemistry teacher brought back my love of the quintessential bracelet. His class was so utterly pointless that it required zero attention as a student. So in the back of the class I re-learned my lost art. It was a great way to pass time during fifth period.

A few years later, as a camp counselor in the Adirondacks, I had renewed spirit once again. This time I learned of the camp wrist, in which girls adorn their entire arm, at least up to the elbow, with friendship bracelets. Pretty sweet. I generally stick to a max of three on an arm, but I have sported four anklets at a time.

There is really nothing like a friendship bracelet - cheap, easy to make, sentimental, and Awesome with a capital A.


Interclub women's tennis




And I thought junior tennis was ridiculous. Well interclub ladies tennis brings that scenario to a whole new extreme. Tennis is life, that is the motto of a desperate housewife who dedicates her entire existence to knowing the ins, outs, and oh so mind boggling details of every player on every team.

"She has a nasty slice."

"All she does is lob."

"She is a notorious hooker." In tennis talk, that is one who makes bad line calls, but hey she could be a hooker too.

"She is too young to play; she shouldn't be on that team." The most common remark directed at me.

The list of complaints and comments goes on and on, then it goes on some more. Recently I played a match against a team that walks with such an aura of superiority, you would think A-Rod had just graced us with his presence. But no, it is just a bunch of ridiculous ladies who belong to a wealthy tennis club.

Anwyay, within the first couple games of the match I threw up a crappy lob so instinctively I yelled "watch it!" And why do I say "watch it" you ask? Basically, I am just letting my partner know it is time to get away from the net.

Turns out my opponent, who then proceeded to dump the easy ball into the net, was not too happy about my so-called outburst. She told me I cannot say that and I should "watch it" myself or else she was gunning for me. WTF? Where do these pyscho ladies come from? They are such an utter disgrace to the game.

It's ok, I won.

Voicemail, ugh



In the wonderful world of texting, why do people still leave voicemails? For the one leaving the voicemail you must wait for the automated person to get through the to do list. "I'm sorry the number you have dialed is unavaible, please wait for the tone. Press pound if you want more options. Press 1 if you want to leave a voicemail." And that annoying naggy voice continues until you are finally relieved by the BEEP. Time to leave the message you have been waiting to leave all along, but you have spent the past minute impatiently listening, just trying to get to this point, that you have forgotten what you wanted to say.


Now for the one who must retrieve the voicemail, the hassles are much the same. Again you are taken through a list of options from the annoying automated person until you finally get to hear the voicemail. A voicemail that has been building in hype, not because it is anything exciting, but rather because of all the time spent waiting. Drum roll please...

And what is on the other end of that voicemail in most cases - a suggestion that person A should call person B so they can either talk for real or meet up in person. So again I ask: in the wonderful world of texting, why leave a voicemail when the same message can be sent, delivered, received, and responded to in the same time it would take to simply leave your voice recording? Yeah not making too much sense now.

Message sent*

The Pressure of Picking Produce



A trip to the grocery store can include a wide range of experiences. When picking up milk and bread there isn't much to it, same goes for most non-perishable items. However, when making your way to the produce section, do you begin to feel the pressure? The beads of sweat start dripping down as you hope to pick a winner and not a dud.

The vegetables are not as hard to manage because you can pretty easily tell the good from the bad, but the fruit picking is another story. There is nothing worse than bringing home a watermelon from the store in hopes of a delicious and refreshing summer treat only to find upon cutting it open that the watermelon is mealy and flavorless. Oh my - it is an awful feeling.

Unfortunately, the watermelon isn't the only one to cause such pain. The same goes for apples - Braeburn especially, oranges, mangos, and a plethora of others. No wonder people spend so much time smelling and touching their fruit items in the hopes of preventing such a catastrophe. However, the taste of bad fruit cannot always be avoided.

If I only knew of some full proof methods to test out the fruit while in the store. But alas, I am just as mystified as the next person. I've seen people knock on watermelon to hear for a hollow sound, or something like that, but who really knows until you take the knife to that delectable piece of fruit skin.

I wish I had better advice to offer, I wish I could make the pressure go away, but all I can really do is wish you the best of luck on your next trip to the produce section.



Autographs Are Overrated


I don't quite understand the obsession with getting a celebrity's autograph. I mean honestly, what is so cool about having a Derek Jeter signed baseball? Well, in that case, it would be pretty cool. But seriously, for the most part, autographs are illegible and insignificant. They are only worth something if you sell them to some nut-job who values the autograph more than you. Thankfully for the autograph junkies of the world, there are plenty of nut-jobs to go around.

I guess the autograph obsession relates to the overall celebrity obsession. People think it is exciting to meet a celebrity. Yet, what they apparently don't know is this - celebrities are pretty boring. They drink, they pee, they sleep, and they put one pant leg on at a time just like anyone else.

Perhaps if we could be a part of a celebrity entourage, then we could truly feel special. You are not going to become best friends with Jennifer Aniston - sorry, but that is a pipe dream. Remember superstars need the fans more than we need them. Without the constant adoration from the public they would be nothing. Therefore, don't let them have the power, and don't be awed by their overall boringness. If you want a good story to tell then make it happen yourself. I hear cow tipping is one way to go.

The Problem With Costco


On a recent trip to Costco I realized my problem with the place. The supersized packaging turns generally good looking food into a monstrosity. I can't help but feel like a glutton when I see a block of cheese the size of my torso or frozen dumplings that could last me through the next year.

Of course Costco isn't all bad. The gigundo lotion containers, nature valley bars, and sample sections are pretty sweet. However, the mass quantities of meat or cheese can certainly make my stomach start doing somersaults.

And what about the people that fill up an entire shopping cart full of food? Are they saving up for the Apocalypse or are they seriously that hungry? Come on people - no wonder America has weight issues. Nobody needs two tons of chips or a massive box of brownie mix. Did you ever wonder how they came up with the nickname Two-Ton Tessie? Glad I cleared that up for you.

Honestly, I think Costo, Sams, and Walmart Supercenters are great. You can do some wonderful bargain shopping, but just because everthing they sell is in large, unbelievable, rhino-sized quantities, does not justify the need to buy the store. Try a little balance on for size. It could do the body good.